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How to Say No

Often, we find ourselves juggling multiple commitments and obligations in our fast-paced world. It can be challenging to balance our personal lives, work, and social engagements. When friends or acquaintances invite us to events or make plans, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to say “No” especially when you genuinely can’t accommodate the request. Don’t overextend yourself and burnout or sacrifice important relationships by overcommitting. Saying “no” to social invitations doesn’t have to mean the end of a relationship. It’s all about finding the right balance between your personal commitments and your relationships. So, don’t be afraid to say “no” when necessary, and remember that the door to future plans can always remain open.

Using these considerate and friendly responses can help you decline an invitation while maintaining a connection with the other person. 

  1. “Thanks so much for thinking of me! I am not available this week but can definitely look toward later in the month!” – this response conveys appreciation for the invitation and offers an alternative time frame for getting together. It ensures that you’re still interested in spending time with the person, but you’re currently occupied.
  1. “Hi! I haven’t forgotten! The past few weeks got away from me, but next month should work!” – acknowledging the delay in your response and suggesting a future date is a considerate way to decline while expressing your desire to connect later. It shows that you haven’t forgotten the invitation and are interested in planning something in the future.
  1. “Ah! Totally slammed this time of year but after the holiday craziness, let’s figure something out!” – holidays and busy periods can make it difficult to commit to plans. This response highlights the hectic nature of your current schedule while also expressing the intent to make plans once the chaos subsides.
  1. “So sorry I completely spaced! Let’s set something up for the New Year!” – admitting forgetfulness is human, and setting a plan for the future, like the New Year, shows your eagerness to connect when you can commit.
  1. “Happy Fall! Sorry to be MIA, things have been crazy but let’s do something soon! Next week?” – apologizing for being absent and suggesting a specific time frame for meeting up shows your willingness to reconnect when your schedule permits.
  1. “Hey! If you’re good to hold off till the 23rd, I’ll be around that day!” – by proposing a specific date when you are available, you are making it easier for the other person to reschedule the plans, showing your willingness to make time for them.
  1. “Ah – rain! Let’s do something soon! Miss you!!” – expressing your desire to meet up in the future and letting the person know you miss them maintains the warmth of the relationship even when you have to decline the invitation.

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Visit Your Library

A little late in the month but…September is library card sign-up month! I know, this is a wellness blog, not a reading club. In my family, however, the library and the books and activities that it beholds are an integral part of our whole-person wellness. We are very grateful to live close to many great libraries that offer many wonderful resources.

Not all of these resources are book-related. For example, just in the past month, our library hosted activities that involved campfires, tie-dying, basketball, Lego building, yoga, craft days, and more. Talk about a boost to your social and mental health! These activities were fun for the whole family, but also great ways to engage with people in our community who have similar interests. These activities were fun all on their own, but occasionally, we took it a step further.

Although our house is not within walking distance of the library, there is a park nearby! Many times, we have taken a picnic lunch with us to these activities and walked to the park afterward to enjoy some healthy food and warm sunshine. Sometimes, we would even bring our library books with us to read while we lounged and relaxed at the park after lunch.

Libraries are so much more than books (although, that is an awesome part), they also are centers of the community that bring folks together and can inspire mental, social, and physical wellness. I encourage you to find your local library if you haven’t already, and see what type of wellness your library can offer you. If you live in North Carolina here is a directory of all the NC Libraries.

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Do I Really Need a Rice Cooker?


Birthdays are a time of reflection for me. As I approach my 62nd birthday, I am reflecting on how my life is different since I am now in my 60s. One thing that has made my life better over the last two years – having a rice cooker. For years, 60 of them to be exact, I thought I didn’t need a rice cooker. I had a stove and a pot, I also had an instant pot. Both are inferior ways to cook rice. After a couple of times of wet soggy rice, I decided that maybe I was being stubborn about this rice cooker thing. Perhaps I should give it a try.

I talked with several people who were knowledgeable about rice cookers. You can spend $20 or almost a thousand dollars so I was overwhelmed with the possibilities. I opted for the Zojirushi rice cooker. It was available at a local kitchen store and, while not cheap, was not one of the super high-priced models. I also knew they would take it back if, after a couple of times, I was not happy.

Following the simple directions provided I cooked perfect brown rice, perfect short grain white rice, perfect brown jasmine rice, and perfect brown basmati rice. You get the picture, all rice comes out perfect. You don’t have to watch it, adjust the temperature, or wonder if your stove eye is too high or too low. It even sings you a song when it is done and can keep it warm for up to 4 hours. I have since branched out and cooked coconut rice using coconut milk for some of the water. It also was perfect. If rice is even a semi regular part of our diet, do not hesitate to get a rice cooker. You don’t have to get a high-end model or the brand I chose for it to provide you the benefits of perfect every time rice.

Just don’t wait until you are 60!

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Why Do Restaurant Salads Taste Better Than Homemade Salads?

When you go to a restaurant and order a salad, whether it is an entrée salad or a small appetizer size, ever wonder why it tastes so much better than what you make at home? There are lessons to be learned from the pros of salad making. Here are the top 5 ways to make your home salad taste like a chef is in your kitchen.

  1. Temperature – keep all ingredients cold, you can even chill the plates you are going to
    use it to keep the salad ice cold.
  2. Ingredients – choose fresh ingredients and use a variety of ingredients. Just lettuce is a
    boring salad. Try different lettuces, shredded carrots, chopped cucumbers, dried fruit,
    cherry tomatoes, and diced fruit. Also, cut the ingredients into appropriate sizes, even cherry
    tomatoes should be cut in half for easier eating. Harder vegetables such as carrots are
    best shredded.
  3. Dressing – place all of your ingredients in a very large bowl and toss well with the
    dressing. Serving the dressing on the side and allowing each person to top their salad
    results in a few bites with too much dressing and some bites that may have no dressing.
    You can use far less dressing this way and each piece of your salad will have just the
    right amount of dressing. Try making your own dressing. It is super easy and you can
    find recipes here.
  4. Plating – plate your salad using tongs or a gloved hand to allow the salad to lightly sit on the
    plate. This gives the salad some height and interest.
  5. Texture – top the salad with the final ingredient to add some crunch. This may be sliced nuts,
    sunflower seeds, croutons, or even a sprinkling of toasted bread crumbs. This final step
    makes all the difference.

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Moving from I Can’t to I Can!—Physical Activity Barriers and Solutions for Older Adults

To honor September as Healthy Aging Month, it seems fitting to talk about the importance of physical activity for older adults.  The benefits of regular, moderate-intensity physical activity, such as brisk walking, on our mental and physical health are very clear; however, as we age, there are more and more barriers to doing this on a regular basis.  These barriers are related to three main areas:  capability, opportunity, and motivation.   

We may have heard ourselves say, “I can’t exercise because of”:

  • Capability-related barriers = chronic health conditions, physical or cognitive limitations, and pain.
  • Opportunity-related barriers = social isolation, lack of access to spaces to be active, equipment, or guidance.
  • Motivation-related barriers = feeling that it is too late to start being active; fear of falling, pain, or injury; lack of knowledge about how to be active; lack of enjoyment; or lack of support from others.

These barriers can make it harder to be physically active as we get older; however, they do not have to stop us completely.  Adopting some simple solutions can make physical activity easier and more fun!

Now let’s move to I CAN exercise:

Barrier*Potential solution*
Too tired/not enough energyWork with a physical therapist or personal trainer who specializes in exercises for those with joint pain or arthritis. Try low-impact activities such as water aerobics, yoga, tai chi, or walking.
Fear of fallingSchedule physical activity during periods of the day when you feel most energetic. Moving more can give us an energy boost and can make us feel less fatigued.
Joint painSign up for a strength class with supervision that works on balance.  Begin with exercises that provide support for balance that use a chair, railing, or wall.
Lack of motivation, enjoyment, or social supportLack of knowledge or skills regarding muscle-strengthening activities
Lack of motivation, enjoyment or social supportFind an in-person or virtual buddy in your community.  Walking or doing another activity that you enjoy with others is a great way to connect and feel less isolated.
Bad weather or poor air qualityFind indoor options such as walking at a mall, airport, grocery store, big-box store, or gym.
Lack of expensive equipmentSeek guidance from a physical therapist or trainer about using cans, water bottles, or your own body weight for resistance exercises.
No close gym facilityFind ways to be physically active by doing household chores, gardening, dancing to your favorite music, or playing with your grandchildren. Consider walking or bicycling to do errands instead of driving. Join an online program, such as Silver Sneakers which has online fitness classes for seniors https://tools.silversneakers.com/

*Adapted from Table 3. Examples of Barriers and Potential Solutions for Older Adults, p. 30-31 of  U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans Midcourse Report: Implementation Strategies for Older Adults. Full citation below.

Reference:  U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans Midcourse Report: Implementation Strategies for Older Adults. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; 2023- https://health.gov/sites/default/files/2023-08/PAG_MidcourseReport_508c_08-10.pdf

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Understanding the Role of Stretching

Do you stretch on a regular basis? Stretching is often an overlooked component of our physical activity routines. Stretching prepares our muscles for movement, aids in muscle recovery, releases tension and improves flexibility, all of which promote proper movement patterns. Performing stretches on a regular basis, even if not before or after physical activity, is beneficial and might just help you feel a little bit better. Consider adding dynamic and static stretching to your routine as a stand alone practice or along with your current physical activity.

Dynamic Stretching

  • Include dynamic stretching before engaging in physical activity. These can be done prior to a low-intensity aerobic warmup.
  • These stretches involve movement and examples include bodyweight lunges (forward, side, or reverse), bodyweight squats, leg swings (front to back or side to side), push-ups with a rotation and inchworms.
  • Perform movements that work the same muscle groups you will utilize in your physical activity session.
  • Carry out these movements lightly and at a slow tempo. Do not force yourself past your range of motion.
  • Dynamic stretches are a great way to break up the time you spend seated. Perform a few for every 30 minutes of sitting or during TV commercial breaks to add extra movement throughout your day.

Static Stretching

  • Include static stretching after engaging in physical activity or after a low-intensity aerobic warmup. Avoid performing static stretches without moving first. You need to warm your muscles up prior to static stretching.
  • These stretches are held for 30 to 60 seconds to a point where you feel tension but not pain. Examples include bending over and reaching for your toes (hamstring stretch), holding your arm across your chest (shoulder stretch) and clasping your hands together above your head and reaching upwards (torso stretch).
  • Perform stretches that engage the same muscle groups you utilized or will utilize in your physical activity session.

How to Enjoy Your Vacation

My family and I recently went on a week-long vacation to the North Carolina mountains. We had such a fantastic time it was difficult to come home!

When you are sharing a house with 9 other adults and are not in charge of meal planning, grocery shopping, or the schedule, it can be really difficult to stick to your normal eating, drinking, sleeping, and exercise routines. Over the course of the week, I consumed a LOT of foods and beverages that normally do not make it into my grocery cart at home. My half plate of vegetables at dinner was nowhere to be found. I engaged in plenty of mindless snacking and consumed a lot of high calorie drinks over the course of the week.

Instead of being hard on myself, I opted to focus on the people around me and the experiences we shared. By the time we returned home, I was craving vegetables and found it very easy to settle back into my normal habits and routines. It can be really tough for me, but sometimes I just need to give myself a little bit of grace and simply enjoy being in the moment!

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Summer Salad Ideas

The hot days of summer continue and if you are like me, salads are on the menu. Here are some simple ideas to make dinner delicious and cool. These salads are a great way to use leftover grilled fish or meat or other vegetables you have from other meals. Think of the below as not recipes but suggestions. Use your imagination to use what you have on hand.

Southwest Salad

This is a great way to use leftover corn on the cob and grilled chicken. Start with romaine lettuce and add tomatoes, jalapenos, avocado, and corn cut off of the cob. Toss all with chili lime vinaigrette. Top with cilantro and broken tortilla chips. For a plant-based protein option, add canned black beans that have been well-rinsed. Or, you can add grilled chicken.

Asian Salad

Start with chopped red or green cabbage and chopped romaine and bok choy. You can also make this salad with just cabbage if this is what you have on hand. Add chopped snow peas, chopped cucumber, and chopped oranges. Combine with sesame dressing then top with chopped peanuts and cilantro. Serve topped with grilled salmon, chicken, or pork.

Tropical Salad

Grilled pineapple is the star of this salad. Grill sliced pineapple and chill for us in this salad or tacos later in the week. Any lettuce will work, a good one for this, however, is spring mix. Add sliced almonds, chopped green pepper, and chopped grilled pineapple. Dress with citrus vinaigrette. Top with grilled shrimp or chicken. You can also add chopped mango to this salad.

Southern Salad

Start with butter lettuce. Add chopped cucumbers and tomatoes. Dress with balsamic vinaigrette. Add sliced peaches raw or grilled. Top with grilled salmon or grilled chicken.

Med Salad

All along the Mediterranean Sea, this combination is eaten with most meals. Combine chopped cucumber, chopped tomato, chopped black olives, and chopped feta. Add this mixture to the lettuce of your choice. Dress with balsamic vinaigrette.  To add protein to this salad, add garbanzo beans that have been well drained and rinsed. It is also delicious with grilled fish.

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Quinoa, Broccoli, and Chicken with Peanut Sauce

Batch prepping and batch cooking can save you time and money as well as help you eliminate some areas of food waste. I don’t always have time to do this on the weekend but when I do it makes the work week so much less stressful. Batch cooking and prepping on the weekend allow me to quickly build meals throughout the week with little effort on a weeknight.

The key is to prep and cook versatile ingredients and then store the prepped items separately. This allows you flexibility in your game plan and helps you create meals with a variety of flavors in little to no time. Frequently used ingredients often include grains, proteins, and vegetables.

For example, I recently batched cooked quinoa, roasted broccoli, and roasted chicken. I also prepped the Med Instead of Meds, peanut sauce, and a peanut garnish (chopped roasted peanuts, chopped cilantro, and crushed red pepper). When I batched prepped, I did have a specific meal in mind but I also knew I would have leftover ingredients that would allow me the option of making other dishes throughout the week. The recipe turned out really good! It can be made vegetarian by omitting the chicken and selecting a vegetarian-friendly protein source.

Quinoa, Broccoli, and Chicken with Peanut Sauce

In a lunch container:

  • 1/2 cup cooked quinoa
  • 4 ounces of roast chicken
  • 1/2 cup broccoli
  • 1 Tbsp Peanut Sauce
  • 1 Tbsp peanut garnish

Quinoa, Broccoli, and Chickpeas with Peanut Sauce

In a lunch container:

  • 1/2 cup cooked quinoa
  • 4 ounces of roasted chickpeas
  • 1/2 cup broccoli
  • 1 Tbsp Peanut Sauce
  • 1 Tbsp peanut garnish

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My Dessert Dilemma

I love dessert! Once my husband and I became empty nesters, dessert became a real dilemma for me since my husband doesn’t eat sweets. I would bake a dessert and have a serving each day. As the days went on, the dessert would become stale or soggy, and I would end up tossing the rest of it in the garbage. I didn’t want to give up dessert, but I sure didn’t want to continue wasting food.

At some point, I had a “light bulb” moment and thought about freezing whatever I baked. My goal was to be able to pull an individual serving of dessert out of the freezer and unthaw it in the microwave for instant dessert. As it turns out, this has worked very well for me! I have frozen cookies, brownies, and frosted cakes with great success. Once I bake something, I divide it into single-serving portions and freeze it. When I crave dessert I take a portion out of the freezer instead of feeling obligated to eat a serving each day and ultimately wasting food. I microwave a frozen treat on low power for 15 to 30 seconds, and the dessert is ready!

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